It is hard to be focused and motivated when one's eyes are not on the task at hand but rather the accolades in the future.
I had watched a video from one of my favorite artists talking about his process. He mentioned something I had heard many times before and have forgotten just as many times. He asked, "Where does your motivation come from? Is it from the result or the process?" or something like that.
There is no wrong answer here. For some it is the process of doing something and others it is the result. I fall into the latter where as the artist I am speaking of is the former. I have always focused less on what I am doing and more on what I have done so to speak. I look forward to the end and what may come out of that, the process is just in the way.
I have often struggled with creativity and sparking/maintaining motivation. This is obviously because I focus a bit too much on the result and not on the process. Not getting the outcome desired results in a loss of motivation. For example, I want these words to be "good", "useful", "profound", or some other positive adjective. However, if I focus on that whilst in the process of forming them, each often necessary mistake will push me off the path of getting to the end.
I have been fighting with this kind of thinking for most of my life which I think is common for most people. I don't want to stop looking at a desired "result" because that is often where my inspiration comes from but I do want to be better and more intentional with "having fun" so to speak in the process.
At the time of writing, this site is unlisted. While few would visit here even if it were listed, I want to keep it like this for the time being. I want to focus more on having a place to put ideas, thoughts, toys, etc without having to be worried about the end or even getting there.
While the artist's video did get me to start working a bit more it didn't spark something until I read a blog post from Andrew Healey.
I had no idea who this person was. I was just doing my normal thing of reading docs and blog posts about tech from random people on the webs and came across one of his blogs. I don't remember the name of the first one I read. But I noticed he had one titled "Personal Websites and Internet Writing." It spoke to me.
Look at that, another person who trolls the internet reading personal tech blogs etc. Woo!
In a post he talked about how he looked at some of his favorite people's blogs and thought about why he liked them. This made me want to write or have something so amazing as to make it on his list. A result. It inspired me to write this and the former. He even said that he likes personal websites so much that he asks people to email their sites to him.
I am not going to do that.
I want to. I really do. I want to send him a post I worked way too long on about my journey in css box shadows for minimalist art. It is, I think the best thing I have done in terms of writing and creative results. I think he would enjoy it.
Who knows, maybe one day I'll toss him a line but I'd rather just use the inspiration he gave me.
Much of why I want these words/ideas/thoughts to be "good" and to put them out there for others to read is because even if Mr. Healey doesn't know it, his words inspired me.
Maybe one day my words can inspire others too.
One day...